Paying Attention

Why is it that some days homework is easy and other days it’s such a struggle?  Of course some days the material is more difficult and some days the kids are more tired and some days they just don’t want to do it.  Fortunately, in our house the days where homework time is a struggle are only some days and not every day.  Unfortunately, when your child is completely resistant to getting homework done, it doesn’t make it any easier in the moment.  Earlier this week we had one of those days.  I handled it patiently and gave my third grader a five-minute window to finish up what he was doing and get ready for homework.  A couple minutes later, my seventh grader came into my room.  She explained to me that she created a game for my son to finish his homework.  She already explained the “rules” to him, it was all set up and ready for us to start.  To be honest I was a little stunned, I had no idea she had even been paying attention to our homework conversation.  Her initiative to step in and try to help me solve the problem in a fun way was a welcome surprise.  But it was also more than that.  It showed me she is paying attention to how I am handling situations.  She has seen that connecting with something the other person likes (playing games) can make a big difference in a situation.  We know that our children are watching us, but it’s easy to forget what a big impact that has on them.  As parents we think we have to teach them, to have a conversation and lay it all out for them in order for them to “learn” it.  We forget the truth in the saying “actions speak louder than words”.
 
This week marks my 3-year blog-o-versary.  When I first started, I thought that I could share short stories of what was (and was not) working for me as a parent that you could read while you drank your coffee on Saturday morning.  The blog was about things I was doing with my kids.  My goal at the start was to give parents ideas on ways to teach their child.  Some of the ways worked (The Drama Scale), while others didn’t work at all.  Writing the blog made me look at things differently and over time I started to realize the things I was doing was only a part of it.  Parenting was also a lot about me – how I was taking care of myself, how and why I was reacting and what my expectations were – were also key pieces to this parenting puzzle.  In order to be the best parent I could be, I had to also work at being the best me I could be.    
 
They say that you teach the things you most need to learn.  Over three years and 151 blog posts, there certainly has been a lot for me to learn.  Parenting is definitely not easy, especially on those days when you feel like no one is listening and you’re repeating yourself a million times an hour.  But then there are the days when your kids surprise you and show you they’ve been paying attention all along.
 
Heart-FULLy Yours,    
Kacey

Little did I know that writing this blog would also lead me to becoming a certified Life Coach.  If you need help or encouragement or both to becoming the best parent you can be, send me an email balancedheartcoaching@gmail.com and we'll set up a time to talk!

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