What 200 posts have taught me

Today is a day to celebrate!  After almost 4 years, 2 computers, numerous early Saturday mornings and countless cups of coffee, this morning marks my 200th post!  We are often taught to be modest about our accomplishments.  You may have even told your kids “it’s not nice to brag”, but this is a big deal and I’m going for it.  Because think about it – have you ever done anything 200 times?  It could be a physical thing, like running 200 miles in a month or holding a plank for 200 seconds.  Or it could be something food related like not eating sugar for 200 days or giving up caffeine.  If you haven’t, then you’ll just have to trust me, doing anything 200 times is not just a drop in the bucket.  It takes commitment, dedication and most of all a true belief in what you are doing. 

When I sat down four years ago to write my first blog, I wanted to start a conversation I didn’t believe parents were having. I wanted to go beyond the “We’re so busy” exchanges I was having with other moms and talk about more meaningful things.  In the early days, I wasn’t quite sure the blog was “working”.  People were reading, but only a few people were commenting.  That was ok, I was having fun, so I kept going.  After a couple months, I had a busy week and didn’t get around to posting on Saturday.  I didn’t think much of it, until I got a FB message from a friend that said, “where’s the blog?”  At that point, I knew that even if I couldn’t see the impact it was having, I had to keep going.  So here we are, 200 posts and over 100,000 words later!

What have 200 posts taught me?  It’s hard to narrow it down, but here are some of my favorite topics I’ve covered:

• Our kids are so much smarter than we give them credit for.  I once heard actress Kerry Washington describe herself as a ambassador for her daughter and that description resonated so deeply with me.  I think too often parents feel like they must control, teach and guide.  What our kids really need is for us to see them for who they already are naturally and help them grow from there. 
• Don’t keep score.  This is by far one of my favorite topics to write about (as some of you probably know).  Somewhere along the line in our relationships we started keeping track of what each other did and did not do.  For example, I picked up all the toys yesterday, it’s your turn to do it today.  Any time you start down this path, with any person (kids, spouse, parents, friends) and with any subject (toys, chores, phone calls, etc.), you are headed for disaster.  Focus on the reason you are doing it instead of how many times you have done it, for example I like to see the floor so I will pick up the toys or I know a good night sleep is important so I will do baths and bedtime.
• Being a parent takes practice.  Why is it that parent’s feel like they are supposed to naturally be good at being a parent?  And while there is something to say about Mother’s Intuition, it’s not always right.  The fact is that some days are going to be better than others and that’s ok.  Give yourself a break and start over.  Most important, it’s never too late to make a change, you just have to start.
  
• There is no finish line.  It’s not as if once you’ve checked all the boxes you are done working at being a parent.  A new situation or twist is always going to arise.  We need to remember that as we “parent”, we are building a relationship with our kids that is going to last far beyond the last diaper we change.  It’s easy to get caught up in the day to day rules and expectations, but in the end this thing we call parenting is about so much more.

I know time is precious and I am honored you spend a bit of your precious time reading my words.  Every week I sign the blog, Heart-FULLy yours, because writing this blog, sharing these stories with you, makes my heart full.  We are stronger together, supporting each other. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to support you and for supporting me in return.
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Heart-FULLy Yours,    
Kacey

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