As second time parents, we thought we had most things figured out. Having an infant was no longer a mystery, we knew what was coming. The fact we were having a boy the second time was exciting, but at the time we thought a baby was a baby. Moments after our son was born the doctor placed him in our arms, all swaddled and cuddly and almost instantly, his arms and legs started fighting to escape. A short time later my husband was laying with our son on his chest as he pushed himself up, head held high. Tummy time and pushing up into a crawling position was months away, but one thing was clear, this little boy was full of energy.
Logically we know boys and girls are different, but I was surprised how different they are from day one. Our daughter loved to cuddle, while our son was always on the go. Our daughter would examine a situation first, while our son would walk right in and start tinkering with things to figure it out. Some of this is personality, yes, but some of it is also inherent, biological differences between boys and girls.
I recently attended a lecture with Troy Kemp entitled “The Minds of Boys”. Troy is the Executive Director of the National Center for the Development of Boys and was in our city speaking to groups from our school district sharing the knowledge he’s gained working with boys for over twenty years. Troy is an energetic and passionate speaker. He shared numerous insights on how to successfully relate to and parent our boys, here are just a few:
Obviously, there was a lot of great knowledge shared and I took a lot of notes during this short talk. Troy recommended multiple books to learn more including, Saving our Sons: A New Path for Raising Healthy Resilient Boys, by Michael Gurian and Masterminds and Wingmen: Helping our Boys Cope with Schoolyard Power, Locker-Room Tests, Girlfriends and the New Rules of the Boy World by Rosalind Wiseman.
As the moms of boys, it’s our responsibility to understand their brains are wired differently. We must accept their body chemistry is unique and what we “think” should happen, may not be physically possible. When we parent our sons using this knowledge, not only will our relationships with them be stronger, but we will create a solid foundation for the men they will become.
Don’t miss a post – sign up to receive the blog in your inbox every week. Scroll to the top of the page and you’ll see a box to enter your email in the upper right side of the page.
I started writing this blog because I wanted to have deeper conversations beyond "How are you?", "Busy", with other parents. Over the years I've shared personal stories, articles, authors and topics to facilitate conversations with parents about the joys and the challenges of parenting.