Last week, before the BIG football game, my friend Kealy was overheard saying “I’m going to bring these earrings, just in case I want to change earrings later.” When I heard that I thought “That is a girl who likes to keep her options open!” We (read me) could learn a lot from her.
 
We could learn that when you leave the house, it’s good to have a couple options. How many of you can say that? (My hand is not raised.) Most days when I leave the house, I have an agenda, a plan and a SCHEDULE. Now, maybe all those words are the same thing in your book…..but whatever you choose to call them or how you choose to look at them, the bottom line is you know where you are going and when you are going there. If you are anything like me, there is little room for deviation from said schedule. It is organized to work like clockwork and maximize the number of items that can be checked off your list. Taking advice from Kealy, maybe we should build in a few more options, allowing for a little more flexibility in our day.
 
Second, we could learn that when we leave the house, we have made our best decisions in that moment, BUT we could change our mind. (Shrug, ladies, you know it happens.) Kealy left the house wearing the earrings she knew were the right ones, but she wanted to feel the vibe of the party to make the final decision. When she got there, the vibe could dictate a small wardrobe change and she wanted to be prepared, so she planed accordingly. How many of us do that? (Again, my hand is not raised.) Rarely am I feeling the vibe of anyone else around me (well I’m getting a little better, but still). How many times have I been that mom dragging a toddler through Target who is obviously hungry and tired and who has no business shopping, except to check some item off mom’s to-do list? (Guilty but getting better.) Again, taking a page from Kealy, feel the vibe and then make the decision.
 
Third, this girl has attention to detail. She knows people will be looking at her for her fashion expertise, so she is making sure to cover ALL the bases. She feels she is at her best. How many moms have walked out of the house with mismatched shoes? No earrings? Wearing the same thing as yesterday? All of us have, don’t lie. Kealy knows that when you feel good about how you look; everyone can feel your positivity and confidence and it makes a big difference.
 
You are probably wondering, as I was, if the extra earrings were called into action? It has been confirmed the extra pair was NOT needed during the big game party, but as the saying goes “better safe than sorry”. At this point I should probably mention Kealy is four and a half and already has more fashion sense than I’ve had in my entire lifetime.
 
Children continue to be my biggest teachers, when will I ever learn things do not need to be so complicated?
 
Heart-FULLy yours, 
Kacey

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Originally posted 8/7/13
 
What is it about babies and TV remotes?  I know that we were not the only family to take an old remote and make it a toy so that our babies had their own, while leaving the functioning remote for mom and dad (in theory that should have worked). In fact, the remote had such an impact on our kids that when it was time to learn the number 11, we had to explain it was a number and did not mean “pause”.

Being able to “push pause” is something that takes a lot of practice, especially if you are in the heat of the moment.  It can be a very powerful tool in identifying and addressing emotions as they are happening.
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Last week while getting ready for school, my son said that he wanted to walk to school.  My daughter protested and wanted to be dropped off. They knew that we could do one or the other.  I asked, “Who should make the decision?”  They both replied “You.”  I said, “You realize that one of you is going to be disappointed, right?”

I was in a no-win situation.  I chose to walk and braced myself for what was to come.  Of course, my daughter was upset and took off walking ahead of us.  I asked her to stop and wait for us.  I knew that this was a push pause moment.  When we caught up, I said “Are you sure this is how you want to start your day?  Are you sure that you want to go to school mad just because we are walking?  I don’t think that is how you want to start your day.”  Her reply was “But walking is so boring!  At least in the car there is music.”  So, I got out my phone, she picked a song and we listened to music as we walked.  Three blocks later, she was helping her brother cross the street and was ready to take him to class.  Her bad mood was diffused, and she was back on track to starting the day on a positive note.

The biggest challenge is being able to stop in the moment and identify when to hit the pause button.  Most emotional outbursts happen while you are in the middle of something else (walking out the door, making dinner, doing homework).  It takes a lot of practice to bring everything to a halt and address the root cause of what is happening.  In many situations you might not be able to stop in the moment.  Later in the day you may look back and think, I should have paused that situation.  That’s ok, just identifying it, knowing that you could have “pushed pause” is a step in the right direction. 

I want to know what you think, have you been successful in pausing a situation to diffuse an emotional outburst?  Is there another tactic that you’ve used that works for you?  Leave a comment below or send me an email, I’d love to hear your successes/challenges in these situations.
 
Heart-FULLy yours, 
Kacey

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Photo by Alvin Mahmudov on Unsplash