We survived week two working from home full time with the kids! Let’s celebrate how far we’ve come! Who knew a couple weeks ago that would be such an accomplishment?
 
Trust me it is.
 
Dare I say, this week even seemed a little more manageable as everyone gets a little more accustomed to this new routine. The level of urgency in some work requests were not at the “hair on fire” level. Hopefully this new level of rationality will continue.
 
Next week our kids begin their school assignments. Not only will this add another stress, but it will also add two more devices onto our already stretched thin WiFi. (On a conference call Wednesday, “internet unstable” flashed on my screen and I had to start banning Netflix and Xbox, not my most popular moment.) I feel fortunate to have a 6th grader and a 10th grader, who can work on their own without my help. I’ll check in next week to tell you how our transition to “home schooling” went.
 
This week, you have seen me around noon every day, popping onto Facebook Live and pulling a card from my new quote deck. The quotes are some of my favorite reminders taken from my blog posts. What I never could have predicted was how deeply they would resonate with all of us during this time.
 
A few months ago, when I was pulling together items to put in the Working Mom Survival Kit, I wanted to include a few encouraging messages along with the essentials. As a working mom, I’ve found it’s easy to start the day with good intentions, calm, cool and collected, ready to face the day. Inevitably, at some point, the stress starts to build, and I shift to autopilot, leaving all my good thoughts and intentions in the dust. If I had a reminder I could refer to throughout the day it would help me stay on track. I had tried setting reminders on my phone, scheduling breaks in my calendar and keeping a gratitude journal. They all worked to some level, but weren’t enough to keep the stress away. Having something on my desk, next to my monitor would catch my eye throughout the day and help me keep it front of mind. The idea for the quote deck was born.
 
Over the last couple months, I found forty of my favorite quotes, painted the design for the cards and the box and found a game company to produce them. Choosing the name was the hardest part. I posted a poll in my mom’s group to vote on the name and the feedback was great, something was missing. One day it came to me - Working Mom S.O.S.: Reminders to Save our Sanity. There are many moments throughout the day, when I feel like sending out that S.O.S. signal. Now, all I need to do is pull a card as a reminder to reset. I had no idea of knowing, the name would be equally as appropriate and prolific self-quarantined in the times of a global pandemic (words and phrases I never thought of before).
 
I have to say I was a little nervous to get on Facebook Live to start, but I really love these cards and was excited to share them. Coming on Live each day has “forced” me to take a quick break and I’ve avoided falling victim to my autopilot. Here are the reminders I picked this week:
 

• Plan your day knowing it’s going to change.
  
• Work-Life Flow allows you to ride life’s waves.
  
• Amidst the daily chaos, there is always love.
  
• Open your heart to the joy surrounding you.
  
• Simple sanity check, pause, breathe and reset.

 
If you’ve been watching, you’ve probably seen the surprise on my face when I pull some of these cards. It’s like my hands are magically pulling the card we all need to hear during these crazy days. Some days, it appears I’ve written the cards just for these times. My blogs have always carried a message, but in light of new circumstances we are seeing the messages differently, with a new sense of understanding.
 
Thank you for all your likes, hearts, comments and support on the Facebook Lives. If you want your own set of cards, you can order them by following this link. In the meantime, I’ll continue to pull cards and share them each day as we help each other through these unpredictable times.
 
Heart-FULLy yours, 
Kacey

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This week was stressful. While there were a host of people binge watching movies and TV shows, reading books and cleaning their houses, I was not one of them. And to be honest, what started out as jealousy, quickly turned to frustration when I felt like I was busier than ever. Impatient emails, urgent meetings, hungry kids, bored kids, kids trying to test the limits of social interaction, extended family, food, chores, shopping – it was a lot. Maybe you can relate?
 
Thankfully, my kids have been on Spring Break these last two weeks, so we have not had the added pressure of home schooling. But many of my friends who are now working their full-time jobs from home, are also expected to find multiple hours in the day to make sure their child is getting their work done. There’s this unspoken pressure to make sure your child keeps up and doesn’t fall behind.
 
In fact, there are a lot of unspoken pressures, not only related to work and school. There’s the unspoken pressure of using this time wisely, like increasing your workouts or eating healthy. The unspoken pressure of connecting more deeply with your kids. The unspoken pressure of getting all those household to-dos finally done. And of course, the underlying pressure of the virus itself, washing our hands, staying six feet apart and questioning every sniffle, cough and pain.
 
It is a lot.
 
Deep breath.
 
There have been multiple times throughout the week where I’ve felt trapped in my house. As someone who is always on the go, coming to a complete stop has been a challenge. Of course, I like to be out and have the freedom to go where I want when I want, but I’ve also realized something else. When I am in constant motion, the busy-ness lifts my responsibilities, they hover around me and appear weightless. This week I felt the weight of them all, big or small. My instinct was to go, anywhere, but I couldn’t. So, I had to feel the weight and choose which ones to lift off and set gently to the side.
 
In the midst of it all, the seasons are transitioning. I don’t think it is a coincidence. It’s a beautiful time to be outside; the flowers, plants and trees are blooming and the birds singing. The rain is nourishing the ground. The air feels cleaner. Going outside is now a special treat, an escape from the four walls of our houses. A time of reprieve observe and be alone with our thoughts. Nature has once again become our sanctuary.
 
It’s a lot to process all at once. There are a lot of feelings coming up, not only for ourselves, but for those around us. Now is the time to listen to those feelings and see what they are trying to tell you. Be patient. Take a deep breath.
 
We too are in a time of transition, when this is over things are going to be different. You are going to be different. I am already different.
 
I’ll leave you with these final thoughts:
 
In the face of sickness, we will heal.
 
In the face of scarcity, we will see abundance.
 
In the face of uncertainty, we will find strength.
  
Heart-FULLy yours, 
Kacey
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Image by skeeze from Pixabay 

Earlier this week, I found myself nearly bursting with excitement. Back in October I preordered Glennon Doyle’s new book Untamed and it was released on Tuesday. Yes, I realize that makes me sound like a total nerd, to be that excited for a book, but I was not alone. Over the last few weeks, my Instagram stories were filled with clips from famous people who had received an early copy and were raving about the book. Actress Kristen Bell posted from her bathroom floor that she couldn’t stop reading (her kids were asleep in the other room and she had snuck away to read). I couldn’t wait to get my hands on it and experience it for myself.
 
I picked the book up at lunch and it was all I could do to restrain myself from reading it in the parking lot of our local indie bookstore. I hurried through the rest of my workday, knowing my reward was waiting. Hours later, after the drive home, dinner was made, dishes were done, I was finally able to settle in. The smell of freshly printed pages pulled me in as her words described concepts so simple, yet so groundbreaking. I found myself wanting to read the entire book in one sitting and at the same time wanting to go slowly, to soak in each word and make it last.
 
The book jacket describes Untamed as “the story of how one woman learned that a responsible mother is not one who slowly dies for her children, but one who shows them how to fully live.” I’m only about half-way through, but I want to share some of my favorite quotes to this point:
 
“I burned the memo presenting responsible motherhood as martyrdom. I decided that the call of motherhood is to become a model not a martyr.” (p.75)

“Brave does not mean feeling afraid and doing it anyway. Brave means living from the inside out. Brave means, in every uncertain moment, turning inward, feeling for the Knowing, and speaking it out loud.” (p.105)

“Women who are best at this disappearing act earn the highest praise: She is so selfless. Can you imagine? The epitome of womanhood is to lose one’s self completely.” (p.116)
“I quit spending my life trying to control myself and began to trust myself. We only control what we don’t trust.” (p.116)

“Every time she looks at me, she is seeing herself, too. And she is asking: Mom, how does a woman wear her hair? Mom, how does a woman love and be loved? Mom, how does a woman live?” (p.126)

“Mothers have martyred themselves in their children’s names since the beginning of time. We have lived as if she who disappears the most, loves the most. We have been conditioned to prove our love by slowly ceasing to exist…….. When we call martyrdom love we teach our children that when love begins, life ends…….. What if love is not the process of disappearing for the beloved but of emerging for the beloved?......What if the call of motherhood is not to be a martyr but to be a model?” (p.128)
 
Each time I open the book to read a new chapter, I am on the edge of my seat, wondering what she is going to say next. Similar feelings draw us to binge watch shows, we’re excited to dive in, eagerly anticipating what’s to come. It reminds me of a 2010 study published in the journal Applied Research in Quality of Life, that found the planning and anticipating of a trip can bring more happiness than the trip itself.
 
Anticipation can be paired with words like excitement, joy, hope, trust, eagerness and enthusiasm.
 
At the same time, anticipation can also be paired with words like apprehension, foreboding, dread, impatience and fear.
 
It is a fine line. Words matter.
 
This week has been unprecedented. None of us have ever lived through anything like this. There is no history reflecting to us the best way to react. With no blueprint to guide us, we are in a unique position where we get to choose the words we associate with our anticipation - will they be from the first list or the second list?
 
One word we can all agree on is uncertain. There is no way to predict the outcome, our only option is to ride it out and see what happens.
 
In this uncertainty, we have been given a unique opportunity to slow down. In one of the quotes above, you may have noticed one of the themes in Untamed, “Knowing”. Inspired by a friend’s note which read, “Be still and know”, Glennon describes how she stopped doing and spent ten minutes each day just sitting. She comically explains how she would review her grocery list and suddenly feel hungry or itchy early in the process, but over time she was able to still her thoughts. In those still moments, she sensed a Knowing nudge that helped guide her to the next right thing. Throughout the book she shares her stories and teaches her kids how to tap into their own Knowing when it comes to getting their ears pierced or using their phone. Of course, we all have a Knowing, but most of the time we are too busy to listen to it.
 
So, the last question is – how will you spend this time? Whether you choose to self-quarantine or not, your routine this week will look different. You’ll spend more time with your family under your roof. Sure, it may raise tensions, but it also presents an opportunity for connection, with your family and with yourself. And while we may be physically apart, do not hesitate to reach out and support each other. If there is anything I can do to help you maintain your sanity, please reach out. We will all get through this together.  
 
Heart-FULLy yours, 
Kacey

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Photo by Andy Brunner on Unsplash

I got distracted.
​
I was supposed to be doing my “mom duties” and feeding my children.
 
But I made a mistake,
 
I looked out the window,
 
and like a magnet
 
I was pulled out the door,
 
down the street
 
and onto the little hill, which is my sunset spot.
 
The kids could wait a few more minutes, right?
 
It’s been a week- aren’t they all? It’s now March(!) and you can feel the shift to Spring.....the warmer temps, the anticipation of Spring Break, we’re on the downward slide of another(!) school year....and all of a sudden everyone is running in high gear.
 
And so, when I felt the pull of the setting sun, I could not resist.
 
Life gets busy.
 
As parents at this time of year we find ourselves sitting on hard benches, cheering and clapping for a sport or performance.
 
Or we are behind the wheel, racing from one destination to another.
 
Or we are making the last minute run for the project that needs clay or paint or poster board or glue.....
 
And we do it.
 
We run, rush and rally our kiddos to “do their best”.
 
And then all of a sudden, it’s March....
 
What have we missed?
 
So, you understand that last night, I had to let my kids starve (for ten extra minutes) while I went and watched the sunset.
 
While I admired the soft pinks, vivid purples, flaming orange, the clouds and the light......of something that happens naturally.
 
So, what’s my point today? We’re all busy, yes. We all have to do stuff we don’t really want to do, yes and some days it’s hard....and tiring....
 
But,
 
There is always beauty.
 
Always.
 
Find it.
 
Heart-FULLy yours, 
Kacey

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