Repost from 5/92/2017
 
For those of us with school age children, it’s the time of year when many things come to an end.  It’s the end of the spring sports season.  After months of practices and games, our evening and weekend calendars are finally starting to free up.  It’s also the end of another school year. Posts of graduation pictures and commencement speeches by famous people with words of wisdom, flood our social media feeds.  There is the joy of accomplishment with an underlying bittersweet sadness of it all being over.  It’s also the time of new beginnings, with the possibilities that only summer can bring.  And if there is a wedding “season”, this would be it, with people coming together in celebration over new beginnings.
 
The central theme to all of this is the passage of time.  Which led me to think about the phrase – how are you spending your time?  It’s a phrase we toss around without much thought, but what if we break it down?  What if we thought about spending time like we spend our money? 
 
If this were true, would you spend your time on other things?  Financially you have a budget and know that a percentage of your money goes to the mortgage, bills, food, clothing, entertainment, etc.  What would your time budget look like?  What percentage of your day is spent on necessities?  I’ll classify necessities as things that you must do like dishes, laundry, etc.  None of these things are a fun way to spend your time, but they have to be done.  It’s kind of like paying for electricity, you’d rather spend that money on something else, but you also can’t fumble around in the dark, so it’s money you need to spend. 
 
After you get the necessities out of the way, how do you decide what you spend your time on next?  Is it based on the person – i.e. I spend my time with my kids because they need me?  Or is it based on the task that you need to get done?  It may vary from day to day, but it’s an interesting thought to consider. 
 
As you go about your day spending your time, do you ever put your wallet away and stop spending?  (Yes, I know that you cannot stop time, so in theory you are always spending your time, even when you are sleeping, but go with me on this one.)  Do you ever stop giving your time?  What percentage of your time budget do you spend on yourself?
     
As you look over your time budget, what is your R.O.I. (Return on Investment)?  After all this spending, are you getting back what you would expected?  At the end of the day, do you feel like you spent wisely?  Or do you feel like you spent frivolously on little trinkets that look special in the moment but just become clutter in the long run?
 
We have the opportunity of a three-day weekend, an “extra” day of spending.  What will your budget look like? 
 
Heart-FULLy yours, 
Kacey
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Today is OUR day! The one day we are TRULY appreciated for everything we do. We are celebrated, have meals prepared for us and at least some of the household chores are done by someone else. A day meant for relaxation, a break from our mom duties…………but how long does it take for someone to ask, “where is the ______?” or “Mom, I’m hungry”, or “will you play with me?” Our families have the best of intentions to give us a break. But habits are hard to break and since Moms are the hub of the household, our family’s definition of “relaxation” may not match ours.
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How many of us wish we could say “Thank you for the Happy Mother’s Day, now leave me alone”? I know it sounds harsh. In fact as soon as I type it, I feel instantly guilty and the voice in my head tries to convince me there is no way I really feel that way - my kids are a special gift and I love them so much, of course I want to be with them today.  But no, I will not be persuaded by guilt and how I think I “should” feel. We’re tired. We need a break. We need to remind ourselves it’s ok to speak up and say so.

Why are moms so exhausted? If you are the parent of a toddler, the answer is obvious – parenting little ones is physically exhausting. Not only is it physically exhausting, if you don’t take good care of yourself it will be mentally exhausting as well. As your kids grow, there is less of a physical demand on you, but we are quick to fill that space with mental chatter:

Am I doing enough for them? Shouldn’t I be cooking healthier food? Shouldn’t I be spending more quality time with them? Am I exposing them to the right things? Am I doing enough to make them successful? Am I supporting them enough?

Instead of physically running after them, we are mentally chasing a checklist in our head of doing things “right”. Not only that, but we are quick to critique the quality of time we spend with our kids. Many moms feel like they should be giving more and then feel guilty when they believe their efforts come up short.

When I break it down like this it sounds ridiculous, however what we don’t realize is this hyper-mothering is praised in our culture. Case in point, the word Supermom is listed in the Merriam-Webster dictionary, defined as “an exemplary mother”. I’ll admit I’ve beamed with pride when someone called me a Supermom. I felt like “Yes, someone gets it! They see how hard it is to do all this every day.” Imagining myself walking around with a cape made me feel stronger.

But even though it feels good to be acknowledged in the moment, living up to this supermom ideal is not a healthy, or realistic, goal for moms to try to achieve. Supermoms live in the battle of busy, using their superhuman multi-tasking strength to check off all the boxes and keep control of the situation. Do we ever stop to question, what is driving us to do all this? Who is telling us to fight these battles? Who is deciding what goes on our to-do list? We need to step back and re-evaluate our motivation and make sure it is our best interest as well as our kid’s best interest.

A true superhero knows they must switch back to their alter ego and take a break. They don’t walk around using their powers 24/7. This is where many moms get it wrong, we need the down time. We need time to replenish ourselves, our energy and our mindset. We need to accept it’s not physically possible to give 110% to everyone, every minute of every day. Giving 100% is a burst, followed by a period of rest.

Today you’ll receive a card with “World’s Greatest Mom” or “#1 Mom” on the front. Your child will watch you open it with a beaming smile on their face. They believe these words with their whole heart. You are their one and only mom. They are not comparing you to anyone else. They are looking at what is right in front of them and loving you for everything you are in this moment. Happy Mother’s Day.

Heart-FULLy yours, 
Kacey

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