 Clothing company Athleta launched their holiday campaign earlier this month with the hashtag #GratefulFor on their website, catalogs and social media. Their goal is to “ignite a chain of positivity by sharing stories of gratitude.” The #GratefulFor story titles are not necessarily ones you would expect, among them are #GratefulFor “feeling small”, “horrible ideas”, “acting my age” and “checking out”. This week in the States, we’re reminded of all the things we are grateful for as we gather to celebrate Thanksgiving.
I’m sure all of us could make a very long list of things we are #GratefulFor, many of which would involve our families, friends and especially our children. This week, ask your child what they are thankful for. I’m sure you’ll get a few superficial answers like toys, screen time and favorite TV shows, but as they often do, I’m sure at least one of their answers will surprise you. Most children express the things they are thankful for with a thoughtfulness and innocence most adults can’t tap into. They recognize the simplicity of what is truly important. It is in these moments we learn so much from them. Our children challenge us to be better parents and better humans. They make us think twice about our beliefs and they can turn a simple, three-letter word – why - into an equation even a Noble prize-winning scientist couldn’t explain. Our children challenge our communication skills. We live twenty plus years honing our communication and suddenly this little human comes along, and we feel like we’re speaking another language. We bumble our way through this foreign land and figure out a new way to communicate. First through sign language and then words, we create a communication dance to get everyone’s needs met. And then one day, what worked yesterday, doesn’t work anymore. Emotional outbursts come out of nowhere as the struggle to express themselves resurfaces. The one thing you can count on as your child grows up, is that your communication style is going to grow along with them. Even when you are communicating effectively with your kids there are always improvements that can be made to reinforce your relationship. For this reason, I created my online course, Communicating through Connection and starting today I am offering the class for only $47! The feedback I’ve received has been phenomenal and parents have seen immediate improvements. The audio classes are short (all under 15 minutes) so it’s easy to find time to listen throughout your day. The examples in the course are geared towards preteens, but the basic tenants behind the examples can be applied to any age, from 5 – 25 (yes really, one student of the class applied the tips in communicating with their 25-year-old and saw a change in their relationship). This year I am #GratefulFor the opportunity to share what I’ve learned. Being a parent is not easy and you certainly never have everything figured out. The relationship you have with your child is a life-long partnership. A partnership that is strengthened by open and honest lines of communication where you both can hear and appreciate each other’s point of view. We can all use a little help sharpening our skills and if what I’ve learned can help you and your child, then that is something I will always be #GratefulFor. Heart-FULLy Yours, Kacey If have questions about the class, feel free reach out to me on Facebook or send me an email balancedheartcoaching@gmail.com. Follow this link to get the special price or enter JOY1750 at check-out.
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 As second time parents, we thought we had most things figured out. Having an infant was no longer a mystery, we knew what was coming. The fact we were having a boy the second time was exciting, but at the time we thought a baby was a baby. Moments after our son was born the doctor placed him in our arms, all swaddled and cuddly and almost instantly, his arms and legs started fighting to escape. A short time later my husband was laying with our son on his chest as he pushed himself up, head held high. Tummy time and pushing up into a crawling position was months away, but one thing was clear, this little boy was full of energy.
Logically we know boys and girls are different, but I was surprised how different they are from day one. Our daughter loved to cuddle, while our son was always on the go. Our daughter would examine a situation first, while our son would walk right in and start tinkering with things to figure it out. Some of this is personality, yes, but some of it is also inherent, biological differences between boys and girls. I recently attended a lecture with Troy Kemp entitled “The Minds of Boys”. Troy is the Executive Director of the National Center for the Development of Boys and was in our city speaking to groups from our school district sharing the knowledge he’s gained working with boys for over twenty years. Troy is an energetic and passionate speaker. He shared numerous insights on how to successfully relate to and parent our boys, here are just a few:
Obviously, there was a lot of great knowledge shared and I took a lot of notes during this short talk. Troy recommended multiple books to learn more including, Saving our Sons: A New Path for Raising Healthy Resilient Boys, by Michael Gurian and Masterminds and Wingmen: Helping our Boys Cope with Schoolyard Power, Locker-Room Tests, Girlfriends and the New Rules of the Boy World by Rosalind Wiseman. As the moms of boys, it’s our responsibility to understand their brains are wired differently. We must accept their body chemistry is unique and what we “think” should happen, may not be physically possible. When we parent our sons using this knowledge, not only will our relationships with them be stronger, but we will create a solid foundation for the men they will become. Heart-FULLy Yours, Kacey Don’t miss a post – sign up to receive the blog in your inbox every week. Scroll to the top of the page and you’ll see a box to enter your email in the upper right side of the page.  This morning I finished mapping out our family calendar for the next four weeks and let me tell you there is not a lot of white space. Softball games, orthodontist appointments, school holidays and birthday parties are just a few of the things filling up our time in the weeks ahead. And of course, none of what’s on the calendar factors in all the other “stuff” that requires our time and attention like homework, tests and school projects. And then don’t forget all the family obligations that will naturally build up around the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays. With so many things clawing for your attention, it’s normal for it to feel overwhelming. If you’re anything like me, you mentally remind yourself how much “fun” all this is, but physically your body collapses into bed, exhausted every night.
Mental reminders can be your best friend, keeping you on schedule, checking off the to-do’s and making sure everything is going as planned (as much as you possibly can). These mental reminders are kind of like the angel sitting on your shoulder – they look out for you and encourage you as you go about your day. We all know how the story goes, while the angel sits on one shoulder, her nemesis sits on the other. The nemesis wears a scowl and likes to use a word that starts with sh…. Do you know what it is? This word likes to run frantically through our brains. It unabashedly applies itself to every area of our lives; no topic, person or situation is off limits. This word paralyzes many to a point of indecision, unable to move forward or backward.
During these days when life gets busy, the “shoulds” seem to get louder. Your stress-level is already high, and one carefully placed should is enough to send the Jenga tower of your to-do list toppling over. Or the other thing that happens is you go into auto-pilot – never questioning the “should”, just doing it because it is what “should” be done. So what do we do to save ourselves from the tidal wave of “should”? Simply by being aware of how the “should” influences you and controls your perspective will allow you the space to reconsider the “should” of the situation. The thesaurus provides some very interesting synonyms for the word should including consider, enjoy, experience and feel. How do we really know if we should do something until we consider our own thoughts? Do we ever contemplate if the “should” is going to bring us joy? Maybe we need to experience it for ourselves before we know if we should, or should not, do it? And how can we ever make a decision on what to do if we don’t think about how it makes us feel? Heart-FULLy Yours, Kacey Don’t miss a post – sign up to receive the blog in your inbox every week. Scroll to the top of the page and you’ll see a box to enter your email in the upper right side of the page. |
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AuthorI started writing this blog because I wanted to have deeper conversations beyond "How are you?", "Busy", with other parents. Over the years I've shared personal stories, articles, authors and topics to facilitate conversations with parents about the joys and the challenges of parenting. |
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© 2021 Balanced Heart Coaching
Disclaimer: I may receive affiliate compensation from the resources and websites mentioned on this website.
© 2021 Balanced Heart Coaching