The sun feels foreign on my face. My eyes squint, my sunglasses are not enough to block the natural light from piercing my eyes. I walked in this same door hours ago with a clean slate and full of possibilities, now I’m walking out wondering if I remembered to eat lunch? I sit in the temporary silence of my car. As I begin to turn the key, I finally remember to take a deep breath. The breath feels like the first I’ve taken all day. I think to myself, “why don’t I do this more often?” As if I need one more thing on my to do list. As if I could remember to do this one simple thing in the middle of the day when I’m pulled in multiple directions. It’s a good thought, but it’s just not that easy to remember in the moments when you need it the most.
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On a different day, I’m wiping mac and cheese from fingers, cheeks, the highchair and the floor (again). The menu of edible foods is ever changing, mostly decreasing, to the point where I can count the acceptable options on one hand. It’s time to go down for a nap, but she shows no signs of slowing down. Anxiety is creeping up from the pit of my stomach as I look around the house at all the things I wanted to do with that precious naptime hour. My mind goes into overdrive trying to figure out how to get it all done, what to shuffle around and how to make it fit. The playful squeals drowned out the quiet voice reminding me, “this is only a phase”.

Have you ever found yourself having a day like one of these above? You start out full of positivity and then get swept up in the current of the day. You let stress and expectations get the best of you. At some point you feel drained and exhausted, but you push through to bedtime when you can collapse before it starts all over again.

I’ve talked to so many moms over the years and while the details of the stories may be different, the feelings are very similar. This blog was started so moms would know they were not alone with these feelings. And while I’ve gotten positive feedback on the blog stories, I know once you merge back onto the busy highway of life, it’s hard to keep those thoughts front of mind.

The Working Mom S.O.S. Card Deck was born from a need to keep these thoughts front of mind throughout the day. All you need to do is pick a card and set it on the counter or beside your computer monitor. As you go throughout your day, the card will catch your eye and remind you to breathe or it’s only a phase or to find the joy surrounding you.

The Cards are now in stock and shipping in the U.S. is FREE! They make the perfect stocking stuffer for your mom friends OR are the perfect treat to gift yourself for all the hard work you do every day! Thank you for reading and for all you continued support.

Thank-FULLy Yours,   
Kacey

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Image by Thanapat Pirmphol from Pixabay 

I’ve been struggling this week.

Maybe it was writer’s block?

Or I could blame 2020 (which for the rest of our lives will be an acceptable noun, verb, adjective or adverb).

I have been at a loss for words on what to say about a holiday that feels very different this year.
Then yesterday, as I was scrolling on Facebook, I read the following story posted by a friend:

My 5-year-old and 4-year-old were having a heated debate on if the words to a song were Her way or His way. These are the conclusions we ended up talking about:
1. You don’t have to agree
2. THE BEST THING about each of us is that we are different, we all think, act and see things different. How amazing is it that not ONE of us is the same
3. Don’t yuck on someone else’s yum.
4. Be kind and respectful of others opinions
5. You have something to learn in everything you do, everyone you meet and everything you see

I love each of the points this Wise Mama discussed with her little ones, but my favorite is #3 “Don’t yuck on someone’s yum”. We all have at least one Thanksgiving dish we continue to make year after year, that no one really likes, but it’s tradition so you make it anyway. Or maybe, you have a family favorite that when you describe it to someone else, they can’t see how that combination of foods could be palatable.

It is easy for us “yuck on someone’s yum” because it is outside of what we know. We like the things we like. They are satisfying. We know they will make us happy, so we stick with the tried and true.

Exploring what we think is a yuck, requires us to go beyond our comfort zone. The results are unknown, and it could be unpleasant, but it could also lead to something unexpected.     

When we think about Thanksgiving, we get that “yum” feeling thinking about the food, family and traditions surrounding the day. This year the food will be prepared differently. There will be fewer faces around the table and traditions will be placed on hold. For all those reasons, no one would blame you if Thanksgiving is feeling a little more “yuck” this year.

Like so many things, it comes back to our Expectations. Over years of celebrating, we come to associate Thanksgiving with specific colors, smells, tastes, people, places, stories, feelings.  Those associations fuel our Expectations and become our comfort zone. They give us a warm, “yum” feeling and define what the holiday should be. But what happens when our Expectations don’t match reality? When we can’t gather, or travel, or cook, or play? Those “yuck” feelings start to rise.

My advice is to allow it to be different. Who said you can’t have pizza and ice cream sundaes for Thanksgiving? Make it fun. Make it easy. Get the kids involved. You have the chance to make this year whatever you want. Keep the traditions you love and make new ones for years to come. “Yum” comes in many flavors, this year will taste different but will be no less delicious.

Thank-FULLy Yours,   
Kacey

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Photo by Alfred Schrock on Unsplash

Hi Everyone, it’s been a while since I posted, what’s new?

Nothing?

Yeah, me too….. unless you count the fact I started writing a blog two weeks ago about my daughter’s trips to the ER (twice, in twenty-four hours) and I can’t seem to finish it (spoiler alert – she is totally fine now). Or the fact that work is crazy, and my analytics clients seem to have forgotten there is a pandemic while expecting record growth in Q4. Not to mention my phone buzzes all day with text messages and voicemails from people I don’t know, who feel the need to remind me about the “important” issues related to the election. Oh, and despite this not being a “normal” Halloween, my house managed to attract a ton of candy. (Ok, well maybe I bought some of it….who can resist those bags on the shelf?) And SOMEHOW it is November! I’m not quite sure how that is possible, but that’s what day my phone says it is, so I’m going with it.

So, I’m good. It’s all good. I’m just livin’ the life, ya know?  

It’s a lot isn’t it? Let’s pause for a minute and take a deep breath. Fill your lungs with as much air as you can, hold it for a second and then blow it all out. That feels so good, why don’t we do it more often? Do it again if you need to, I know it always makes my body feel a small sense of relief and calm when I remember to just breathe.

A couple weeks ago, I was listening to the Brene Brown podcast, Unlocking Us and she was interviewing the authors of the book “Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle”. The authors are sisters, Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski, and in the interview one of the things they explained was how stress gets stuck in our bodies because we don’t release the stressor after it is gone. They explain when the stress occurs, we go into fight, flight or flee. Whether we are in physical danger, or dealing with a tantruming toddler, the stress response engages neurological and physiological shifts within your body to help you survive. Your digestion slows down, immune system shifts and tissue growth and repair slow. In other words, when a stress situation occurs there are changes in your body and your mind. We are taught to handle cause of the stress, let’s say by leaving the store to stop the tantrum. We’ve eliminated the stressor, but the stress response still lives in our body. The authors explain we need to do something to signal to our body it is safe and can relax. Physical movement is the best way to release the stress and complete the stress cycle. You can do something as simple as stretching and breathing, having a dance party or going for a run. Anything to move the energy will help your body know it is safe.

Stress is always present in our modern lives, but it seemed like the perfect topic to write about days before the election. We are being inundated by ads on our phone, in the mail, on TV and online. My 12-year-old is reciting tag lines from the attack ads against both senators running in our state. (Why are politicians running ads on YouTube channels about Minecraft, Fortnight and trick shots? They have the data to target or not target certain demographics, so why buy ads on channels with an average age under 18? I digress.)

No matter who wins, we are going to wake up on Wednesday and the kids will be hungry, we’ll have piles of laundry waiting and dishes will be stacked in the sink. Life will keep going.

In one of the later chapters, the authors explain one reason we burnout is because we are faced with situations where we feel helpless. They do a great job explaining how this helplessness arises and provide concrete examples. The net result is every day we are faced with obstacles that require more effort and energy than the easier parts of life. To explain how to move past this, they use a reference from the movie Finding Nemo:
“If you just keep swimming, you’ll find your way. And when your brain wants to give up because there is no land in site, you keep swimming, not because you’re certain swimming will take you where you want to go, but to prove to yourself you can still swim.”

If you’re feeling helpless or hopeless, please reach out for support. We’ve done a lot of hard things this year, things we never could have imagined we could live through (one-ply toilet paper – the horror!). But no matter how hard it got, we made it through and lived to see another day. This week will be no different. Let’s be here for each other, support each other, regardless of our similarities or differences. We are all one, we can all be united.

Heart-FULLy Yours,    
Kacey

Don’t miss a post – sign up to receive the blog in your inbox every week.  Scroll to the top of the page and you’ll see a box to enter your email in the upper right side of the page.