I have written countless posts about balance. Many of those posts talked about scheduling, priorities, and work-life balance. Other posts compared balance to walking on a tightrope or trying to keep juggling balls up in the air. I have talked about it a lot!

So, when I came across a new idea related to balance, it made me stop and think.

“Balance is the core of health. We feel and function best when our body’s systems are in balance, and when we’re in balance with friends, family, community and nature.”

These are the words of Dr. Bruce Perry, from the book “What Happened to You? Conversations on Trauma, Resilience and Healing” which he co-authored with Oprah Winfrey.

​In all my writing, reading, and thinking about balance, I never really gave a lot of thought to balance in our physical body. I have been so focused on the outer balance of “life”, I overlooked the role our physical body (and mind) plays in all of this.

Dr. Perry explains physical balance starts in the womb while hearing the rhythmic sound of our mother’s heart. Once born, a baby cries when their environment slips out of balance. They are picked up, rocked, bounced, or cuddled. These rhythmic motions shift the baby back into balance. The discomfort and distress are relieved, calming the baby.

This explanation makes complete sense in terms of a baby. This level of care is expected, we know we must comfort the baby often in the early months of life. In turn, our attention helps teach them how to self-regulate. Once they reach the stage of self-regulation, do we pay less attention to inner balance? Sure, we still think about how sleep and food impact our moods, but do we downplay the impact our feelings and health have on our overall balance?

Dr. Perry also writes “Stress is what occurs when a demand or challenge takes us out of balance – away from our regulated ‘set points’. When we get out of balance, we become dysregulated and feel discomfort or distress. When we get back into balance, we feel better.”

How does that make you feel to read that? It made me pause. This definition of stress means we are taken out of balance multiple times a day. Not only that, but the most important thing is that getting back to balance helps us to feel better. Speaking from my own experience, relieving the stress does subconsciously feel better, but I do not take the time to acknowledge this relief. Usually, crossing off one stress means moving onto the next, which throws me back out of balance again. It’s no wonder the days can feel so chaotic, constantly shifting from balance to imbalance, distress to comfort.  This new perspective has given me more to think about and explore (and I’ll probably be writing more about it again in upcoming posts).

Speaking of exploring, I hope you will register for the Awakened Mother Series, launching tomorrow, June 21st. I have joined Isabelle Bridges for this practical interview series and am so pleased to be among this fantastic group of empowerment-experts including authors, coaches, postpartum specialists, trainers, and more!
 
If you’re ready to wake up to your life; if you’re ready to overcome the overwhelm and start living your dreams, this interview series is a must! Click on this free pass to participate in "The Awakened Mother."
 
Until next time, be aware of when you are in and out of balance. Acknowledge the impact it has on you. Identify the ways in which you can shift from distress and discomfort into balance and relief.

Heart-FULLy yours, 
Kacey

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Image by Emphyrio from Pixabay 

It appears things are getting back to normal – there are fewer masks at the local stores, restaurants are full and sporting events appear to be at capacity. The cost of flights is climbing, there are shortages with rental cars and pictures of summer vacations are starting to flood social media.

We deserve this, it has been a long haul.

It is a relief to move around freely and feel like we are putting this behind us.

But it is never quite that easy, is it?

We are only one positive test away from having all our perfect plans crumble.

My daughter was teasing my soon to be eighth grade son about going to high school in another year. He looked at her and said “who knows if I’ll even GO to high school”.

The seeds of doubt have been planted; nothing is ever truly guaranteed.

But as they say, “The show must go on!”

We must keep moving forward and transition to this next phase.                           
                                                         
Offices are starting to open back up again. Some people I’ve talked to are relieved to be back around their coworkers and feel the energy of an office. Others I talk to are figuring out how to rework their schedule to accommodate a commute, childcare and juggling responsibilities from outside the house.
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It feels like we are going “back to normal” but it is different, we are different.

We have the opportunity to make a change.

We can take what we’ve learned over the last year and apply it to our daily lives, so we don’t slip back into old habits that weren’t working.

This week, I will be on the Brave Women at Work podcast, where we discuss the impacts the pandemic has had on working women and on the responsibility companies now face. Host Jen Pestikas and I are kindred spirits with a passion for empowering women. I loved this conversation and I think you will too.

Then, next week, I will be a featured speaker in the Awakened Mother Series, launching June 21st. First a little background: Some of the things I have found really support me during this time are self- awareness, self-love and self-acceptance. So, when one of my dear friends and colleagues, Isabelle Bridges, asked me to be in her Awakened Mother Series, I was an immediate yes! What I LOVE about this one is it's focused on supporting moms in loving THEMSELVES and in waking up to how much they matter. Sooo powerful!
 
Isabelle has brought together wonderful speakers to share their expertise, including my interview “How to Move from Work Life Balance to Work Life Flow.” This is just the support we need in this moment! And best of all, it is free! Just click on this free pass to participate in "The Awakened Mother."
 
This is how The Awakened Mother Series works:

• You sign up for FREE at the link below and you’ll receive a welcome video from Isabelle.
• You’ll receive recordings as they become available.
• Join the Facebook group for the mother's empowerment circle to catch the buzz.
• Immediately, you’ll start to notice how much more aligned and empowered you feel with these new, tangible tools at your fingertips. And you’ll feel the support of the mother's empowerment sisterhood to hold you high.

 
I am honored to have had the opportunity to talk with these two women. For me, this too feels like getting back to “normal”. The conversations are similar, I’m still talking about work life balance, flow and integration, but the context is different. I am different. To be honest, I still feel like I am figuring all this out on a daily basis.

If there is one thing we’ve learned – there is no normal. Life is a state of constant change. We can only do our best to adjust, grow and flow with what we are given. The best way to survive is to surround yourself with support, whether it be people, podcasts, books, or virtual communities, to affirm you are not alone and give you the tools you need to thrive. 

Heart-FULLy yours, 
Kacey

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Photo by Håkon Grimstad on Unsplash

I was sitting at Starbucks talking on the phone with my mom when it hit me.

It was normal Saturday morning. I had just dropped my son off at his best friend’s house.

As I left, his friend’s mom said to me “Thank you so much for bringing Brad over to work on the science project. It really means a lot that they can work on the project together.”

“Of course,” I replied thinking nothing of it. “I’m glad it worked out.”

I hadn’t thought twice about their partnership in the science fair. They were great friends and got along well. Later sitting on the patio, I realized some parents would have been cautious. They wouldn’t have encouraged a friendship with a boy going through treatments for a rare pediatric cancer. I never hesitated, because in my experience, kids with cancer live.

My cousin was diagnosed with cancer when she was four. They found an orange size tumor in her chest and began treatment immediately. I was five, my sister three, and we became regular visitors to the pediatric floor. We played in the playroom, went with her to get her blood drawn and took turns pushing her IV, which she had named Charlie. We even went to the hospital Christmas party. After surgery, rounds of chemo and losing her hair, the day came when she left the hospital and never looked back.

Moments like these become deeply embedded into our DNA. They impact every decision we make, even when we don’t realize it.

When we saw Kameron’s name on the fifth-grade class roster during Meet the Teacher night, we were so excited.  He spent fourth grade juggling home schooling and treatments and now he was back! The boys picked up where they left off, friends in the classroom and on the playground. And now with online gaming, they could hang out outside of school, as soon as homework was done of course.
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As a parent, it’s hard to watch your child navigate friendship. You want them to find a friend that appreciates them for who they are. It’s precious and hard to find. I could hear the excitement in their voices as they played. It never occurred to me to keep them from the joy this friendship brought to both of them.

A few months into the school year, the doctors shifted Kameron back to learning from home. Their teacher, Mrs. Northrup, was amazing and continued to include him in many of the classroom activities, like the science fair. In turn, Brad would rush home from school to “see” Kameron online.

By Christmas, Kameron was back in remission. The boys celebrated with Kameron’s first ever sleep over, a trip to the fire station and a holiday festival with the hospital. The boys packed so much into twenty-four hours, they set the bar very high for the next sleep over. My experience was holding true, kids with cancer live.

By Spring Break, Brad was impatiently waiting for Kameron and his family to return from a trip to Hawaii. He knew they were supposed to be home on a specific day and Kameron had not logged on.

A couple days later, in the middle of the workday, Kameron’s mom called. The cancer was back. This time there was nothing the doctors could do.

She ended the call apologizing to me, “I’m so sorry to have to call and tell you this, but Brad was one of the first people we thought of.”

My heart was breaking for her, for Kameron, for Brad and for our families and she was apologizing to me......... Of course, I told her “You have nothing to apologize for.”

As I numbly drove home from work, I dialed my friend, and psychologist, Jody. It was divine timing she was free and answered my call.

“I don’t know what to do,” my voice cracked, while tears filled my eyes.

“Yes, you do.” she said. “You’re a mama, you know exactly what to do.” She suggested we tell him as soon as possible and provided some ideas on things we could do to help him process it.

Telling my eleven-year-old son his best friend is going to die, is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It brought up a lot of unanswerable questions and a lot of tears. The only way I could describe it to him is that everyone comes to this life with a job to do. Each person takes a different amount of time to complete their job, but when you are done you die. Using the description of “a job” was something he could relate to and helped bring him a small amount of understanding.

Thankfully, two weeks later, Kameron was feeling good enough to celebrate his birthday. There were funny mustaches, goofy glasses, a llama pinata and lots of silly string. It was full of laughter and fun. It was a magical celebration for a special boy and one of the best birthday parties I will ever go to. Today, March 28th, marks two years since that special birthday party. It’s still as vivid in my mind as if it happened yesterday.

Moments like these become deeply embedded into our DNA.

I have started writing this blog post multiple times over the last two years. There are a lot of emotions, countless lessons and I’ve barely scratched the surface. But for this post my takeaway is, I wouldn’t change a thing. The friendship the boys had was filled with joy and will live forever in the hearts of our family.

We talk about Kameron often, especially when we hear a song on the radio that reminds us of him. Every time Brad gets dressed for baseball, the #28 on his back is a reminder of his angel in the outfield. There’s even been talk of a tattoo design to honor his friend, when he’s old enough. We support, Kameron's Krusaders, a nonprofit his parents founded in his honor.   

We try to protect our kids because we don’t want to see them hurt or in pain. We must remember; this is their journey. It is their experience. We are here to be by their side and walk them through it, but we can’t do it for them.

I don’t think I could have ever held those boys back from being friends. But in the off chance I had, look all we would have missed.   

Heart-FULLy yours, 
Kacey

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A couple night ago I had a dream I was late for a test. I was frantically trying to find the right building to take a test I was not prepared for (luckily, I was fully clothed this time). I found a door and walked in. There were already students sitting at their desks. The room was massive with a high ceiling and the back of the classroom…… was a Macy’s where people were shopping. Go figure, dreams can be crazy.

I’ve been out of school for many years, so how come I am still having dreams about tests? A quick web search says, “To dream of being late for a test represents challenges you were unprepared for or were too distracted to deal with.” In the last year there have been countless challenges for which I was unprepared, so I guess my dream has some truth to it.

Prior to the pandemic, I think parents felt like we should, or could, be prepared for anything. It has never been enough to just handle a situation, you must do it “right” in order to survive the judgment of those around you. I loved writing this blog a few years ago examining how subconsciously we look at motherhood as a test.

“This is Not a Test” was originally posted on February 23, 2014:
In a recent interview, author Anna Quindlen was asked what are 5 things she knew for sure?  One of her answers was:
“Motherhood is not a test.” 
Let that sink in for a minute. 
If motherhood is not a test, then we should spend no time at all worrying about whether we are doing things “right”.
If motherhood is not a test, we should not spend hours scouring the internet for the exact diagnosis and remedy for the sniffles that came home from school.
If motherhood is not a test, it wouldn’t matter if you are a stay-a-home parent or a working parent, we’d all just be parents.
If motherhood is not a test, we wouldn’t be so hard on ourselves when something “goes wrong”, we’d see it as an opportunity to grow and do better next time.
The list could go on, you’ve probably thought of a couple more already.  In school “passing a test” is validation that we’ve studied hard and earned the right to go to the next grade.  In sports “passing a test” earns you a win or sometimes a gold medal.  In the workplace “passing a test” earns you a promotion or raise.  For many of us these three examples, school, organized sports/activities and career, make up a large part of our childhood and early adulthood.  It is easy to see how we can develop a perception that everything in life must be a test.
It’s hard to change your perception, especially when it’s been ingrained in multiple aspects of your life.  How can we break the cycle and start thinking of things in a different way?  I think that by simply acknowledging it we take the first step.  We tell ourselves that there is no “right way”.  The way we choose is right for the moment.  If things don’t turn out the way we expect, then we go back, try something else and see if that gets us closer to the desired results. 
When you think about it, we all know that motherhood can’t be a test because the “right answer” that works one day completely misfires on other days.  Motherhood is fluid.  It changes and evolves.  It’s not a linear path, but a winding journey for which there is no map.  This is not something that we are accustomed to – no map?  No book?  No internet to help me along the way?  The tools are there, they’re just different.  Relying on your intuition, those around you and the reactions of your children will give you all the direction that you need.   
So, the next time you find yourself wondering, “am I doing this right?” remind yourself this is not a test.  Choose the answer you think is right and go for it.  Unlike a test, you can always go back and change it along the way.

The last twelve months were not a dream. We found ourselves taking a test and were completely unprepared. There was no book we could have studied on “how to survive being locked in your house for days on end with your family, while homeschooling, working, doing laundry and maintaining your sanity.”

We did the only thing we could and took it day by day. No one had ever been through this before. There were no right answers. We lost our ability to plan and were forced to go with the flow.
Now as we shift into this next stage, I’m reminded of a quote from Maya Angelou, “Forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn’t know before you learned it.” Be gentle friends, this is not a test.

Heart-FULLy yours, 
Kacey

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My house is haunted. At least my kids believed it was once upon a time. As I reread this post from seven short years ago, it surprises me how much has changed and how my predictions of the future have come true.
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“Haunted House” was originally posted on February 1, 2014:
We are blessed to live a house that gives the four of us space to be comfortable.  If we want to spend time together, we can.  If we want to spend time apart, we can go to our rooms and recharge.  However, spending time apart doesn’t happen very often, because our house is haunted.
Of course, it’s not really haunted.  I’m exaggerating, but by the reaction of the kids you would think that it was haunted.  You see, the kids don’t like to go upstairs by themselves and if we are upstairs, they don’t like to go downstairs.  It’s a little easier during the day.  I think that they forget, and they’ll run up to their room, get something and come down like it was no big deal.  But when the sun starts to go down and they need something upstairs, it’s easier to not have it than to go up there alone.
This whole thing is so perplexing to me, I just can’t figure it out.  Is it that they are physically scared that something will happen to them?  We’ve reminded them multiple times that the house is safe.  Daddy and I are here to protect you.  When we are inside the house you don’t have to be afraid of venturing to another room by yourself.  But this logic doesn’t always work – I’ve seen them wait in line to use the downstairs bathroom rather than go upstairs!
Or is it that we spend so little time together during the day that they don’t want to be separated from us for even a minute?  I think that is my working mother guilt talking.  They do like spending time with us, but I don’t think that is the root of this issue.
Is it the darkness?  What is it about walking into a dark room that can make even the most secure person feel just a little bit anxious?  It’s the feeling you get when you are unable to see what is around you.  It’s that split second of the unknown.  We have been conditioned to search for answers so that we spend as little time as possible in that unknown space.  Many people avoid the unknown, the darkness, because leaving the known, the light, is too uncomfortable.  Is this where it starts, by not being able to go upstairs alone?  Are my children destined for a life of being scared to explore the unknown?
The shoe is now on the other foot and I am the one that is making a big deal out of something small.  All of a sudden, I’ve projected a lot of adult feelings on two little ones, who literally don’t like dark rooms because they are dark rooms.  Today I will be thankful that they still want to be in the same room with us.  The time will come all too fast when they’re locked in their room and never come downstairs……I better be careful what I wish for.

As I expected, my daughter now spends most of her time in her room, only coming out for meals and occasional conversation. My son too is usually locked away in the game room shouting and cheering online with his friends.

I also couldn’t have predicted we would spend more time in our home in the last year, than we had in the last five years combined. My family has now voluntarily explored every inch of this house, in search of peace and distance to break up the long days of togetherness. The darkness is no longer scary, instead it’s a welcome hiding place in solitude.

The last twelve months have felt a lot like walking into a dark room.

We’ve been uncomfortable.

We’ve felt anxious.

We’ve been unable to leave the dark room and go back into the light, where things are predictable and easy to see.

We’ve had to accept and embrace the unknown.

In my original post, I was worried my kids would be scared to explore the unknown. Now, I think they have a new appreciation. They’ve seen firsthand, life is unpredictable. There is no way to know what will happen, but we can’t let that stop us. We need to stay flexible, adjust and move forward the best we can.

It can be overwhelming (for all of us). Connection is the key. We need to keep reaching out. We need to keep asking for help. If you, or your kids, are in need of support, please reach out to a friend, family member or comment on this post. There are resources available to help you, you don’t have to do this alone. As Ram Dass once said, “We are all just walking each other home”.   
 
Heart-FULLy yours, 
Kacey

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Photo by Aleksey Kuprikov from Pexels

“Am I being too strict?” I asked my friend and fellow parent coach earlier this week.

“Or am I being too lenient? Am I being overprotective? Should I be more concerned about her well-being and safety in this situation?”

My internal questions that had been living only in my head, poured out into our conversation.

She listened patiently, allowing me to get it all out. And then she asked me one simple question:
“What is it that she needs?”

“Analysis Paralysis” was originally posted on January 25, 2014
My full-time job, aka my “professional” job, in its most simple state requires that I use performance metrics to tell a story of what is going on in the business.  By analyzing and evaluating the numbers the story can be either positive, negative, or somewhere in between.  When I present these numbers to a client, someone always wants to dig deeper.  It usually goes something like “This information is good, but what if you look at performance on every other Tuesday, between the hours of 9:30 and 11:15, only in months ending with a y.”  When you hear the dreaded words “what if”, you know the meeting has just derailed and may never get back on track.  
In what I call my all-the-time job, aka being a mom, I am also faced with numerous situations where I have to analyze and evaluate situations and then provide recommendations for the next action.  Though they sound like the same task, they’re obviously very different.  As a mom you analyze, evaluate, and respond in a matter of seconds.  No time for pretty charts and there aren’t weeks to prepare, you’re in the thick of it and you have to respond.  You have some “data” to refer to – usually a conversation you had with a friend or an article you read online – but for the most part you go with your gut.  Often the analysis and evaluation happen after when you are replaying it your head.  Suddenly I am on the other side of my previously dreaded “what if”.
Many of the great things that surround us every day are the positive result of someone saying, “what if”.  However often what happens is that “what if” can lead you to asking more and more questions and reading more and more articles.  Then you hit a point that I call analysis paralysis.  You are surrounded by so much information that you are literally paralyzed and unable to move forward as no answer seems to be 100% right.  Analysis paralysis can also be where you just keep gathering data and never act on it.  You think that after you get the answer to x, then you’ll have enough to move forward.
But guess what, the good news and the bad news is that life moves to fast to get stuck in analysis paralysis.  It’s bad news because you’ve got to pick a road and go for it.  It’s good news because you’ll realize quickly if you have to adjust your course, so you tweak it and keep going.

Seven years later, I’m still evaluating and questioning. It can appear to be never-ending and repetitive, but it is not. Every decision is a step on a spiral staircase, grounded in knowledge from the steps before. The good news is there are a lot of steps. You have countless opportunities to get it right, get it wrong, to learn, and do it different next time.  

Asking yourself, “What is it that he/she needs?” can put a new slant on “what if…” or “am I being” questions. You may think the situation is best served by setting the right rules or expecting a certain type of behavior. While these are important, it will also help to look at your child to see where they are stuck. Why are they struggling and how can you meet them where they are at?   
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The blog from 2014 ended with four questions we can ask when we are faced with any big decision:
What if you stop worrying and trust your gut?
What if you stop stressing out and slow down?
What if you stop beating yourself up and forgive yourself?
What if you take a deep breath and relax?
   
Heart-FULLy yours, 
Kacey

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Photo by Ryan Searle on Unsplash

What a year it has been, and we are only ten days in. I knew saying “Happy New Year” wasn’t really going to really change anything, but I had hope.

Instead of new beginnings, my kids went back to online school (after 3 months in person) and we saw social unrest like we never have before. Both reminders there is still a lot of healing to do.

It’s exhausting. The mental load on parents is exhausting. The social stress on our kids is exhausting. And I won’t even try to pretend I know the bone deep exhaustion of healthcare workers, activists, teachers and so many others who have been working tirelessly for months.

It is a lot.

Yet, we have to keep going. If you are struggling in any way, please reach out. We do not have to go through this alone. It is not a sign of weakness. Let’s be here to support each other and we will get through this.

It’s hard to believe I’ve been writing the blog for over seven years. I have grown so much, and obviously so have my kids, that I thought it would be fun to revisit some of the blogs and see how I would expand on my advice.

“Instant Replay” was originally posted on January 4, 2014:
My five-year-old is a sports nut, anything that has a ball he wants to play, watch and then play some more.  Anyone who has watched a sporting event on TV can attest to the fact that nearly every play is followed by an instant replay, often in slow motion.  In the event a replay is not shown, our TV allows us to rewind the play ourselves so that we can watch and re-watch as many times as we would like.  Because of this, every game played in our house, including board games, involves at least one replay showing how the action unfolded.
On one hand, the replay can be a strong teaching tool.  By looking at how we did something, we can look at it again to find areas to improve so that we can do it better/different the next time.  We can also look at the replay of how someone else did something or handled a specific situation and we can learn from them as well. 
On the other hand, the replay can create a never-ending loop that leads to insanity.  Maybe I’m being a little dramatic, let me explain.  The replay also used in our house for each child to recount the grave injustice that their sibling has committed against them.  After the initial replay, I am provided with the camera angle from the other child’s perspective, which naturally tells a slightly different story.  Unlike the replay official, I don’t get to go hide under a hood to think about and decide which camera angle shows it best.  I have to make an immediate decision to diffuse the situation as quickly as possible.  Like any sporting replay, my rulings on the field are usually met with cheers from some fans and groans from others.  The most important part is that play resumes.
Play resumes.  They keep going and within minutes the incident is all but forgotten (or replaced by the next replay).  They learn from it, accept it and move on.  If only it were always that easy - but who’s to say it always has to be as complicated as we make it?
One last thing don’t forget that when you pull together all the replays and keep the best ones, you get a highlight reel.   

Some things don’t change. My five-year-old is now twelve and still a sports nut. Replaying certain plays that happened during a game is still a regular occurrence, as is replaying funny Tik Tok videos or songs to learn the latest dance. Fortunately, now that the kids are older, I spend less time as the referee, but there are still days I find myself wishing I could hide under the tent.

What I would add is it is easy to get stuck in a replay. How many times do we rerun situations from work or relationships in our heads? Do we call our close friends to recount each detail of a story where we were wronged? In the thinking or retelling, we keep the memory alive. Yet, no matter how many times we go over it, the outcome will never change.

The key is how we move forward. We can’t keep reliving, regretting or repeating the replay.

If you find yourself in a replay loop, follow these four steps as a guide to get back on track:

• Reconnect with yourself. Check in with your heart to remind yourself of who you are, what is important to you and what you stand for.
• Respond with love and compassion. Often the person most in need of that love and compassion is yourself.
• Release any lingering anxiety or concern you have over the situation. The moment has passed. Let it go.
• Relax in the knowing you did the best you could at that time. When a new opportunity arises, you can now handle it in a different way.

Remember throughout it all to be gentle with yourself and others. These continue to be unprecedented times and we need to support each other however we can.

Heart-FULLy yours, 
Kacey

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Image by Keith Johnston from Pixabay 

“What are my options?” my friend’s 5-year-old asks preceding most meals.

“Mac n’ Cheese, Nuggets, Toast with Cream Cheese, Special Pizza,” his mom answers.

“I want 100 options.”

“You don’t like 100 things”

Pause……..

“What are my options?”

Ah, the joys of mealtime. There should be a parental warning for the frustration and anxiety you will feel in simply trying to get your kids to eat. Parents start with the best of intentions, we buy (or make) baby food with all the vegetables and fruits available. We follow the advice of experts having the child try it three times before giving up that they don’t like it.

But then we get tired. We lose the ability to come up with more “options”. We stick with what we know works and the list of options gets shorter. In fact, one day “dinner” is a piece of cheese and a popsicle. And on that day, we celebrate the child put something in their mouth and vow to try again tomorrow.
Like so many things, this too comes back to expectations. We expect our kids to eat well rounded meals, with all the food groups. However, reality hits and our kids have different ideas of what tastes good. Parents then adjust and do our best to give them food to keep them healthy.

All this talk about options and expectations, I can’t help but think about how this also relates to the holidays. The year’s list of options is shorter. Our expectation is we want to continue traditions, make it look like it always has in the past, and that just won’t be possible.

Please be gentle with yourself and the others around you. Over these next couple days, look at your expectations. Give yourself a chance to reflect, reset and remember what is truly important to you. This year is going to look different, even if it’s cheese and popsicles, it’s still a reason to celebrate.  

JOY-FULLy yours, 
Kacey

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Photo by Sunrise Photos on Unsplash

Originally posted December 16, 2018

Are you ready for Christmas?  I’ve been asked this question multiple times over the last few days and the answer is no.  It seems to be on everyone’s mind, from the barista at Starbucks to close family and friends.  Of course, part of it is just an easy conversation starter during this time of year.  The other part is that everyone is looking for others that are in the same boat of feeling like there is a lot to be done in a short amount of time.  They don’t want to feel like they are the only ones not ready and with a week to go before the big days, many are wondering, will I have enough time to get it all done?

The holidays are filled with memories, memories that lay dormant in our minds for most of the year.  I love to think of it in terms of the movie Inside Out with shelves in our brain filled with different colored memories.  They sit, filed away, until we call upon it and watch it replay in our mind.  The memories are colored rich with emotion, often we can recall them like it was yesterday.

One of those memories for me is making sugar cookies with my Grandma.  It reminds me of Christmas’s in Kansas, surrounded by family, sweet smelling treats and if we were lucky a little snow.  We have continued this tradition with my own kids and this year will be including our cousins in the cookie baking fun.  But, like everything, it requires preplanning and coordination of time.  A list of all the ingredients must be made, the pantry checked and restocked so we don’t have to run out mid-bake to grab something we forgot.  Add it to the list, it’s just one more thing to do before the holidays, but we do it because we love our traditions, they remind us of happy memories of childhood and of people who aren’t with us anymore.   

If you think about it, we memorialize the past, by rushing around in the present, to prepare for these holiday events in the future.

It reminds me of a video where young kids were interviewed without their parents.  When the parents watched the interviews, their kid’s answers surprised them.  When responding to questions about what they liked to do the most with their parents, they didn’t talk about vacations or days at the amusement part, they recalled simple moments like reading together at night or playing a game.

We often overcomplicate things, trying to do too much in too short an amount of time.  We stress ourselves out, leaving little or no space to enjoy why we are doing all of this in the first place.  When you look back on your memories, what is it you remember?  The people, the feelings and the time you spent together outweigh the gifts and the decorations.

So, as we rush around during this last week before Christmas,

It will be easy to feel stressed. 
It will be easy to think it’s not going to get done. 
It will be easy to think something (or someone) will be late.
It will be easy to think we are letting someone down.
It will be easy to be overwhelmed by the way things used to be.
It will be easy for the tears to wash over you when you are missing a loved one.
It will be easy to get angry at someone in front of you for not moving fast enough.
It will be easy to get frustrated with your child over something minor.
It will be harder to remind yourself it is all okay, prepare what you can and not worry about the rest. 
It will be harder to let go of your expectations of how things should be.
It will be harder to remember your presence is the perfect present.
 
JOY-FULLy yours, 
Kacey

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​Photo by freestocks on Unsplash

The sun feels foreign on my face. My eyes squint, my sunglasses are not enough to block the natural light from piercing my eyes. I walked in this same door hours ago with a clean slate and full of possibilities, now I’m walking out wondering if I remembered to eat lunch? I sit in the temporary silence of my car. As I begin to turn the key, I finally remember to take a deep breath. The breath feels like the first I’ve taken all day. I think to myself, “why don’t I do this more often?” As if I need one more thing on my to do list. As if I could remember to do this one simple thing in the middle of the day when I’m pulled in multiple directions. It’s a good thought, but it’s just not that easy to remember in the moments when you need it the most.
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On a different day, I’m wiping mac and cheese from fingers, cheeks, the highchair and the floor (again). The menu of edible foods is ever changing, mostly decreasing, to the point where I can count the acceptable options on one hand. It’s time to go down for a nap, but she shows no signs of slowing down. Anxiety is creeping up from the pit of my stomach as I look around the house at all the things I wanted to do with that precious naptime hour. My mind goes into overdrive trying to figure out how to get it all done, what to shuffle around and how to make it fit. The playful squeals drowned out the quiet voice reminding me, “this is only a phase”.

Have you ever found yourself having a day like one of these above? You start out full of positivity and then get swept up in the current of the day. You let stress and expectations get the best of you. At some point you feel drained and exhausted, but you push through to bedtime when you can collapse before it starts all over again.

I’ve talked to so many moms over the years and while the details of the stories may be different, the feelings are very similar. This blog was started so moms would know they were not alone with these feelings. And while I’ve gotten positive feedback on the blog stories, I know once you merge back onto the busy highway of life, it’s hard to keep those thoughts front of mind.

The Working Mom S.O.S. Card Deck was born from a need to keep these thoughts front of mind throughout the day. All you need to do is pick a card and set it on the counter or beside your computer monitor. As you go throughout your day, the card will catch your eye and remind you to breathe or it’s only a phase or to find the joy surrounding you.

The Cards are now in stock and shipping in the U.S. is FREE! They make the perfect stocking stuffer for your mom friends OR are the perfect treat to gift yourself for all the hard work you do every day! Thank you for reading and for all you continued support.

Thank-FULLy Yours,   
Kacey

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Image by Thanapat Pirmphol from Pixabay